New Years Eve seems like a good time to reflect on the year gone by, especially as we make resolutions about what we are going to do differently or better next year. The majority of people will be sitting down to make a list of what they hope to achieve, of those people a little over half will not follow through with their resolutions. Most people in fact give up on their resolutions before February. Why is it that we give up so easily? Could it be related to our choice of resolutions? Do we naturally pick things that are simply too hard to follow through with?

In my case my resolutions are generally very vague.

  1. Write More
  2. Be Healthy
  3. Stop comparing
  4. Forgive myself

    Ah, that last one, it’s been a resolution for a few years. You see I made a bad decision once, who hasn’t, and every year since then I have resolved to forgive myself for that decision and while it doesn’t haunt me, every once in a while that nagging voice in the back of my head whispers “remember when” and I realize that I still haven’t forgiven myself.

    Let’s back track one, to stop comparing. I do it, we all do it, a friends little boy is reading books already. He is just a few months older than Ben and I cannot help but compare the boys. What am I doing wrong that my six year old isn’t reading but another six year is? I did it with walking, talking, potty training, the whole nine yards when I see someone Ben’s age I cannot help but compare his achievements to theirs. It doesn’t stop with the learning curve though. We compare belongings, homes, work ethic, the list goes on and on. Is it possible to stop comparing? To step back, take a deep breath and say I have the perfect life and it needs no comparing to what others have?

    How about be healthy? This one is new this year for me, it didn’t seem right to have a resolution of losing weight, instead it seems right to say this year I resolve to be healthy and if weight loss ensues because of my healthy choices then that is wonderful. However simply saying this year I resolve to be healthy may be to vague a resolution to actually achieve it. Will I give up my healthy choices around January sixteenth and continue on my not so healthy track? Weight loss is a tricky subject. So many of us struggle with a desire to lose weight but we miss out on the bigger picture, which is, we didn’t gain the weight overnight and so it isn’t going to be possible to lose it overnight. Welcome to the world of instant gratification if I cannot have it instantly then chances are I don’t want it at all.

    This brings us to the beginning of the list, Write More? Write more what, more fiction? More non-fiction? Write for Money? Write for the love of writing simply because I have a story to tell.

    My youngest almost always wakes me up at four am, heck I could probably set my clocks by her nursing schedule. She wakes up at four am and so does my writing center. I have some of my best ideas at that nursing session or at least in my sleep addled brain I think they are great ideas. Most never see the light of day because in the fog of nursing a six week old I don’t want to get up and find a pen and paper to put my thoughts down. I could if I really wanted to access the writing program on my tablet and commit these ideas to that virtual paper but that would mean logging out of Facebook (my late night nursing home) and writing the ideas down before the flee my mind. Is that what I mean by writing more? Could I multi-task my writing and nursing time? I sure wouldn’t want to be made fun of the way Gisele Bundchen was multi-tasking nursing while preparing for a photo shoot. There I go again comparing, my choices to that of another nursing Mom who also works. It’s not even January first and I am faltering on my list of resolutions, I haven’t figured out what Write More means and I am comparing my abilities to that of someone else.




Free Birth Control for all

    So as an advocate for Pro-Life issues, I hear almost on a daily basis that abortion would go down drastically if only women had access to free birth control. In fact it is probably one of the most popular arguments from the pro-choice crowd. Free birth control equals less abortions and if Pro-life people wanted to really put a stop to abortions they would simply make birth control free and readily available. Tied into that argument of course is the fact that many pro-life advocates are either Conservative, like myself, or Republican and thus have fought tooth and nail against Obamacare and this mythical free birth control. I call it mythical because even if somewhere in Obamacare there is the promise for “free” birth control it is one of the many lies. There is no such thing as “free” birth control any more than there is a free lunch. Someone has to pay for it. When someone on the pro-choice side makes the argument that if only we had access to free birth control what they are really saying is that if only someone else would pay for the birth control then there would be less abortions.

    Who should pay for it? The employer? The taxpayer? Who exactly should pay for my birth control other than of course me. If I demand free birth control then I am essentially demanding that someone else pay for it. Perhaps the manufacture should pay, after all it is there product and they are multi-billion dollar companies. The same could be said for the pharmacies that carry it. Perhaps since they are so wealthy they should be made to pay for it. These might sound like ridiculous examples, hopefully they sound like ridiculous examples, because seriously are we going to expect the pharmacy simply to give away free birth control or even expect for the manufacture to give it away for free? If not, if we say well that is ridiculous to expect a pharmacy or manufacture to simply give it away then where do we justify expecting an employer to pay for it? How come we want our employers to provide not only a living wage but also free birth control? Why is it that we are holding our offspring hostage against this argument of if only my employer would pay for my birth control I wouldn’t be forced to kill my young.

    That again might sound kind of ridiculous, the pro-choice crowd may even get angry and say that is not what they are wanting. However when the demand for free birth control is made then that is exactly what is being said. We are essentially placing a gun to our offspring’s head and saying that if someone doesn’t pay for our birth control then we will be forced to kill our young. When did we as a nation become so selfish? As a pro-life advocate it is not a matter of saying I don’t want to pay for your birth control, it is a matter of saying why are you holding your own children hostage against this notion that it is someone’s responsibility to provide for your enjoyment.

    No strings attached sex has become really popular, and that is fine until you start making the demand that someone else pay for you to be able to play. As long as there is a demand for free birth control make no mistake there is a demand that someone else foot the bill for you to have fun. Personally I do not care what anyone does in the privacy of their own home or who they do it with, despite popular belief that conservatives are nosey and want to make rules and who can do what with whom. The only thing I care about is not footing the bill, and stopping the massacre of innocent children. It shouldn’t be an either or deal though, it shouldn’t be that if I don’t foot the bill for you to have sex then I have to live with the knowledge that you will kill your young.