New Years Eve seems like a good time to reflect on the year gone by, especially as we make resolutions about what we are going to do differently or better next year. The majority of people will be sitting down to make a list of what they hope to achieve, of those people a little over half will not follow through with their resolutions. Most people in fact give up on their resolutions before February. Why is it that we give up so easily? Could it be related to our choice of resolutions? Do we naturally pick things that are simply too hard to follow through with?
In my case my resolutions are generally very vague.
- Write More
- Be Healthy
- Stop comparing
Ah, that last one, it’s been a resolution for a few years. You see I made a bad decision once, who hasn’t, and every year since then I have resolved to forgive myself for that decision and while it doesn’t haunt me, every once in a while that nagging voice in the back of my head whispers “remember when” and I realize that I still haven’t forgiven myself.
Let’s back track one, to stop comparing. I do it, we all do it, a friends little boy is reading books already. He is just a few months older than Ben and I cannot help but compare the boys. What am I doing wrong that my six year old isn’t reading but another six year is? I did it with walking, talking, potty training, the whole nine yards when I see someone Ben’s age I cannot help but compare his achievements to theirs. It doesn’t stop with the learning curve though. We compare belongings, homes, work ethic, the list goes on and on. Is it possible to stop comparing? To step back, take a deep breath and say I have the perfect life and it needs no comparing to what others have?
How about be healthy? This one is new this year for me, it didn’t seem right to have a resolution of losing weight, instead it seems right to say this year I resolve to be healthy and if weight loss ensues because of my healthy choices then that is wonderful. However simply saying this year I resolve to be healthy may be to vague a resolution to actually achieve it. Will I give up my healthy choices around January sixteenth and continue on my not so healthy track? Weight loss is a tricky subject. So many of us struggle with a desire to lose weight but we miss out on the bigger picture, which is, we didn’t gain the weight overnight and so it isn’t going to be possible to lose it overnight. Welcome to the world of instant gratification if I cannot have it instantly then chances are I don’t want it at all.
This brings us to the beginning of the list, Write More? Write more what, more fiction? More non-fiction? Write for Money? Write for the love of writing simply because I have a story to tell.
My youngest almost always wakes me up at four am, heck I could probably set my clocks by her nursing schedule. She wakes up at four am and so does my writing center. I have some of my best ideas at that nursing session or at least in my sleep addled brain I think they are great ideas. Most never see the light of day because in the fog of nursing a six week old I don’t want to get up and find a pen and paper to put my thoughts down. I could if I really wanted to access the writing program on my tablet and commit these ideas to that virtual paper but that would mean logging out of Facebook (my late night nursing home) and writing the ideas down before the flee my mind. Is that what I mean by writing more? Could I multi-task my writing and nursing time? I sure wouldn’t want to be made fun of the way Gisele Bundchen was multi-tasking nursing while preparing for a photo shoot. There I go again comparing, my choices to that of another nursing Mom who also works. It’s not even January first and I am faltering on my list of resolutions, I haven’t figured out what Write More means and I am comparing my abilities to that of someone else.