Where have all the good manner’s gone?

Look around, you may wonder why there is a huge lack of manners. Whether we are discussing adults or children, there is simply a lack of manners going around. Most people no longer hold the door open for others, offer up kind words like please and thank you. Are parent’s not teaching manners? Were they not taught manner’s themselves? There was a time when children were taught to say “yes sir, no sir, or yes ma’am, no ma’am.” These common courtesy were not just common but expected. Now rather than shock at not hearing pleasantries such as these we are shocked we do hear them. The other day a young girl responded to a question “no ma’am,” and the adult who asked stuttered asking first who said that and then congratulated the young girl on her manners. It showed effectively how far we have come from manners being expected to the mere shock at anyone who still uses them. Showing respect for your elders, answering people when ask a question, have become a thing that some take for granted, while it is lost on others because they never had manners.

Almost on a daily basis I see children who ignore adults. A parent asks a question, and the child ignores him or her. A teacher requests children stop talking in class, and the conversation goes on. Running, yelling, screaming, shouting, all take place in our churches and libraries, places that used to demand respect from all who enter are now simply buildings where anything goes. It is not just children who are disrespectful, no in a lot of cases I watch and see adults carry on loud abrupt conversations with themselves via cell phones in the library or even at church. Who is shocked when a cell phone rings during service? Who appreciates that there is a conversation going on in the stacks next to you at the library? I even find it a little bit embarrassing when people carry on loud abrupt conversations with themselves in the public restroom. I watched the other day as a child was rude, blatantly ignoring the adult when asked a question, and I began to wonder, are all children like this? Is this the world that we are going into now, where Manners are missing from day to day conversation. Where children can and will be brats because no one speaks up and demands respect.

What happens when we lose respect for others and ourselves? Do we grow as a nation, as the world? Are people able to live, and thrive in a land where there is no respect at all? Are respect and manners the same thing? I believe they are; that to show respect you have good manners. Someone cannot be rude and show respect. The two go hand in hand.

What are some examples of Good Manners

You should always look someone in the eye when talking to them. When asked a question, one needs to answer politely; polite responses should include sir or ma’am. Simple things such as saying please, thank you, and you’re welcome, show that you have good manners.

Another example of good manners is to speak to others as you would like to be spoken to. In other words, if you are negative then you should not only expect people to be negative to you, but also be completely okay with that. However, who is okay with being treated badly? No one. If we are honest, we want to be treated respectfully, regardless of how we treat others. Remember that manners are the golden rule of life.
Parents, who do not teach manners, aren’t doing their children any favors. It might be easier to not correct bad behavior, but by doing so you are hurting more than helping your child. So where do children or adults learn good manners? Children can learn manners in the home; parents should not expect anyone else to teach their children manners. Adults can teach themselves manners. Good manners lead to better employment opportunities, people who are polite to their bosses, and customers are more likely to succeed than people who are rude. It doesn’t matter how good you are at a job if you are rude to your boss or your customers you aren’t going to last.

Good table manners at home will translate over to good table manners out in public. I remember being taught as a child which side of the plate to put the fork, spoon and knife. I remember being taught to keep my elbows off the table. We had a lot of different rules growing up, and we knew how to behave in public. It doesn’t seem that children are being taught the same things. Children do not know how to react at a restaurant, which suggests that they do not have good table manners at home. You might not care if your child behaves themselves at your table, but teaching them how to behave at home will guide them in how to behave in public or at a friends home. Good table manners are important because when your child grows up him, or her, will be eating at a boy friend/girl friend’s house or their bosses house. It is important to know how to react, especially when they are looking to impress someone. Its never to late to learn. If you are an adult who lacks manners, and can recognize the fact that you lack manners, you are on the right road. Figuring out that you lack manners, is the first step toward making things better.

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